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Can we design the reality we experience?  Or at a basic level, everything is the same for each of us?

Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash

Designing our own reality is a tad presumptuous. Because we cannot design or even control all the parameters of our world. Many of them are already in place and form a layer that cannot be denied. When I talk about everything being the same, I am talking about a phase when the difference has not been discovered yet. When we feel that our worldview is precisely the same as someone else, it speaks of a self that has not been investigated deeply. By not investigating the system in which we are present, we resign ourselves to being perpetual users and give up any agency that we may have.

By not investigating our self, we become innocent bystanders to the process of change – becoming a tree from a seed makes no difference to us at all. We could be a tree, or we could be a fountain of crystalline water, we wouldn’t know the difference. We wouldn’t have any degree of self-knowledge. So, we wouldn’t know.

We feel like designing our reality in two scenarios. One, we feel that we are so uniquely powerful that we can indeed change the world. Second, we feel so helpless that we feel that we can only survive if we can change our environment fundamentally. This means that two kinds of people want to change the world – the very powerful and the very powerless. The people in the middle of these two types of people just learn to live and cope.

Learning to cope is not a good thing. It is a sign of succumbing to the world. Succumbing to the world is ultimately a sign of weakness. In the tussle between the world and us, if we at least have a fighting chance it allows us to live with that possibility as a dignified future. That’s all that we hope for. A fighting chance. If we have that, then we can commit to the fight and let it take its own course. If we have a fighting chance, we won’t succumb and give up easily.  If we don’t give up, we still have a horizon. Something to look forward to.

One of the problems with the world is that too many people are trying to change it. If we just let it be, and learn to adapt just our sphere of influence, then the urges to change the world will not clash and overlap. When the clashes and overlaps happen, power dynamics becomes the deciding factor. Power dynamics is a shallow perspective based on which to decide anything – let alone something of as much consequence as the format of the world that ought to take precedence.

More than designing our own reality we ought to think about how we can accommodate ourselves into the world the way it is.  Accommodation does not mean adaptation or adjustment. Accommodation is not a state of perfect balance. Accommodation is just a state in which you learn to be.  Not as comfortably as   you could possibly be but comfortable enough to get by. Getting by might seem to be a sign of adjustment and compromise but it is not.  Getting by is just a   form of humble and latent survival.  Surviving with a healthy internal life and    no pronounced expectations externally.

If many of us live in such a way, our external lives will not seem so rife with

discontent and lack.  We will find contentment internally and we will process the lack we feel externally inside us and not feel incomplete.

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